Poem: Angel Mother by Edna Ipalei

Dear mama you are precious,

You are the best of the gifts that I have ever had,

Nothing material can take the place

Of the comradeship between you and I

Dear mama you have shown me the light

The instruction received at your knees,

The maternal lesson together with the pious,

The souvenirs of the fireside,

Are never, entirely effaced from my soul.

Dear mama, there is none like you,

Dear mama, how can I thank you?

There is no gift worth your great deeds,

Forever I shall follow your foot steps

Dear mama may you live to enjoy

The fruits of your hands,

For all I am and hope to do,

I owe to you, my angel my mom

From the poet’s blog http://ipalei.blogspot.com/#!/2010/02/angel-mother.html

Edna Ipalei © 2010

Burning Lens: Father and son crossing a bridge over River Migori

A father encouraging his son as they cross a bridge over Migori river. Manuel Odeny/The Burning Splint

A father encourage his son as they cross a foot bridge over Migori River in Migori County. Manuel Odeny/The Burning Splint

Folklore Poem: When dad was shaving me (Translated from dholuo)

When dad was shaving me,

I bowed my head down-down,

I saw something dangling,

Something like a cut worm,

It’s sweet at dawn when it grinds,

The thing plaits matuta,

The thing is red like ombulo’s seed.

Original version:

Kane baba liela,

Akulo wiya piny-piny,

Aneno gi maliero,

Machalo mana ofunyu,

Mit ko gwen ko rego

Gino suko matuta

Gino kwar ko ombulu

*matuta- cornrow hair style

Ombulu- a red hot African seed from wild legume  

© 2011 Manuel Odeny

Is bullying a learnt or hereditary trait?

Blame it on the genes.

Recent studies by scientists have established that bullying and aggressive traits in people can be caused by genetic formation in the DNA.

Thalia a London based scholar studied 1,523 twins in Sweden and Britain with a half of them being identical and sharing some identical inheritance found that gene play a role in formation of aggressive behavior causing bullying.

The study, published in Child Development Journal strongly tied Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) has a flaw in character trait that makes a person to be more likely to be a bully.

“Aggressive behavior can be inherited by the gene ADHD although social environment plays a highly significant role in non-aggressive anti-social manners” the research said.

The finding now adds genetics to other causes of bullying like low self-esteem, poor parental upbringing and social context.

While boys are more likely to be influenced into bullying from their environment, girls are predestined be traits in their genes into the anti-social behavior, the study said.

“In girls, a beautiful and more sexually active female is more likely to be bullied as she appears to be more attractive for mating making her more competitive” Zapito Marini’s atavistic angle in Bullying from an Evolutionary Perspective is quoted in the study.

Marni espouses that gene leads to bullying as a specie is forced to procreate and pass the dominant gene to the next generation in Darwinian theory.

Equally excess or low genetic neurotransmitter serotonin and other enzymes are a main cause of the trait with bullies having a 10% likelihood of verbal abuse and 16% chances of getting into a physical fight as compared to other people.

“Bullying is when people use their strength or power of some kind to hurt weaker people” Prof Dan Olweus of University of Bergen, Norway says.

A bully dominates, blames and uses others for their means with poor soial skills and lack of compassion for weaker people whom they see as preys.

Guest Blogger: Children in Abusive Families by Jackie Tulloh

Child discipline and abuse is often poorly defined. Many parents at one time or another have felt the urge to strike their children. With physically abusive parents however the urge is frequent and a little more stretched.

Sadly seeing parents treating each other in abusive families makes the child think it is ok to do so and it happens in other families.

Child abuse is the physical, sexual, emotional or neglect of children. Neglect involves not providing adequately for the child’s food, shelter, medication and even affection.

While physical abuse involves assault, sexual exploitation include pressuring a minor to engage in sex, showing a child pornography or showing adult private parts.

Additionally there is the emotionally abuse which involves name calling and bullying the child.

Major cause of child cruelty is unemployment where parents without income to sustain their children become increasingly depressed. At such emotional turmoil any mistake by the child leads to over-reaction in disciplining which harms the kid.

Equally parents under substance abuse like alcohol, cocaine and other hard drugs often get out of control in handling their children especially when disciplining them. Under the influence they are pushed overboard which might include sexually abusing the children.

So what are the effects of abuse to the children? Physically a child is left with bruises, cuts and fractures with some leading to their early death.

Psychologically, the effects are worse and affect the child permanently.  This affects their attentiveness in school, learning abilities and stress related experience. Neglected they bear emotional scars which affect their self esteem by being insecure and having a sense of guilt thinking they are the main cause of their problems and those affecting the families.

Growing up with these low esteem makes them easy victims of verbal and physical abusive from the society with a more likelihood of being criminals as adults. Sadly as boys end up being abusive the girls are socially constructed to accept abuse in families as a norm!

Sadly with limited number of resource centers for child protection for increase number of children in abusive families makes child protection to be strained.  Governments need to help in stopping child abuse in the society and everyone needs to be committed against the vice and report any violators to child rights authorities.

Jackie Tulloh is an Internee journalist at Kenya’s Vice Presidential Press Services (VPPS).

Poem: My Father’s Son by Manuel Odeny

(Dedicated to childhood memories of growing up in Mombasa and Alfred Ayungu Odeny, My father and model of what I should be to my future wife and children)

Once

when I was still a baby boy

obsessed, thrilled with dark night sky

father said, shut your eyes tightly

then sailed I into dark night sky

dreaming of my arms

dipping in deep, dark-blue velvety

palpating golden sheen of the golden full moon

snatching twinkling stars.

But

i fell like lead

just before hard ground

to my father’s arms- veinated, calloused

his chirped nails safely grabbed

then

i opened my eyes

stretching my empty arms, pink nails

for an earnest glimpse of

a dip of deep, dark-blue velvety

golden sheen of the golden full moon

snatched twinkling stars.

and I felt sad.

Then-

father buried his head on my nape

his grizzly beard tickling my face

making little ‘blurp’ ‘blurp’ sounds

my shrill laughter

accosting his deep throaty laughter

echoing my disappointment into dark night sky

before sailing me into dark night sky

back to his rough-gentle arms

again

again

and again

to dip in deep, dark-blue velvety

palpate golden sheen of the golden full moon

snatching twinkling stars.

“Drink all Ma’s omena* soup

to be taller, reach the dark night sky”

father said, following my gaze

into the dark night sky

static radio bleating reggae

golden full moon bathing us in golden sheen

just me and my father

sleeping in his rough-gentle arms

dreaming of my arms

dipping in deep, dark-blue velvety

palpating golden sheen of the golden full moon

snatching twinkling stars…..

*Omena, from Dholuo. A delicious small fresh water fish found in Lake Victoria.

2^nd July 2011