A play: Bitter Sweat by Mwangi Wilson Murimi

Synopsis

A convergence of animals in Kikulacho County is called by the Development Committee, under the watchful eyes of the county governor Mr. Lion.

The Baraza is called to discuss possible implementation of a new produce deductions policy. The policy recommends a 25% seasonal deduction of members’ produce for five consecutive seasons.

 The convergence, however, turns out to be a forum for members to demand answers on earlier cases of resource misappropriation. This culminates into the quest for the formulation of a new Development Committee.

CHARACTERS

LION - King of the Kikulacho County.

CHAMELEON – Member of the Kikulacho development Committee.

HARE – Member of the Kikulacho development Committee.

HYENA – Member of the Kikulacho Development Committee

TORTOISE – Citizen of the Kikulacho County.

CHICKEN – Citizen of Kikulacho County.

ZEBRA – Citizen of Kikulacho County

FOX – A law expert at Kikulacho County.

GIRAFFE – A technician at Kikulacho County.

(As lights fade in, the Lion, Hare, Hyena, Monkey and Chameleon sit on the front bench as other animals assemble at the Mikutano Square for a public Baraza. The Hare, who is the head of the ceremony stands at the podium. The other animals take their seats at the auditorium. He takes in a deep breath before picking the microphone from the giraffe who is the technician for the meeting)

HARE (Moving his gaze sideways): Ladies and gentlemen today’s meeting will be short as we all know the agenda. (The animals nod in agreement, as the hare picks a file from the table, and proceeds to read from it). Kikulacho Country has recently faced a severe drought that has claimed the lives of a good number of us. With me is a proposal of the austerity measures to contain the situation, and avert such a catastrophe in future.

HYENA (leaning to the Chameleon): Learn to stay put today and leave your colour changes to the trees.

HARE: Honourable members, the Development Committee of which I am a member sat and drafted a proposal of a Kikulacho County Granary. All members will contribute to the granary. (Low toned murmurs follow) Pursuant to the Kikulacho County constitution, members of the Development Committee will be excluded from the suggested produce deduction due to their inflated budgets occasioned by their service to Kikulacho County.

CHICKEN: Don’t committee members eat and empty their bowels like the rest of us!

HARE (Ignoring Chicken’s outburst): Honourable law abiding citizens, we at the Kikulacho Development Committee have never frustrated Kikulacho County before. This new austerity measure is the best solution for famine in Kikulacho County. 

TORTOISE:  (In a high-pitched tone):  What developments have you initiated beyond your homes. The hyena and his family are ever growing fat as our children cry out their rumbling tummies.

HYENA: My family only eats to their proportion just like the rest of you. (Satirically) Maybe you are on a weight loss prescription!

HARE:  Honourable members let’s not demean the acclaim we have recently received at the recent conference at Ufisadi County. All other counties are longing to emulate our cooperation in Harambees.

TORTOISE: Why did your wife accompany you to the conference? Was she a delegate? And by the way were you harvesting cotton at the conference? You have since bought your family new cloths!

CHAMELEON: The new produce deduction policy is as important as the lives of our loved ones whom the drought snatched from us. Let’s not contradict ourselves with baseless allegations.

TORTOISE: There comes the white sepulcher that waivers with his every colour change!

(A loud laughter follows Tortoise outburst)

HARE: Order! Order! Order honourable law abiding citizens…

CHICKEN: Too much silence makes the mouth stink!

HARE:  Etiquette is a virtue. Kikulacho Development Committee exists as your mouthpiece we cannot all talk at the same time.

TORTOISE: Is that so called Development Committee a mouthpiece of Kikulacho County or the mouth to feed the committee members?

ZEBRA: Have the findings of Monkey’s maize saga ever been tabled?

HARE: Honourable members please lend me your ears awhile.

CHICKEN: Go ahead and pluck mine out. Do I even have any?

(Earsplitting laughter follows)

CHAMELEON: Honourable members, investigations on the case are ongoing. Let’s not get ahead of the times

CHICKEN: Debate with yourself. You seem to have two different personalities.

(Air tearing laughter ensues)

TORTOISE:  We demand a statement from Monkey right now. Since the maize scandal was uncovered his wife has been making more trips to the posho meal. The hare has since been increasing suits on his closet, as our children wear tatters!

MONKEY: The fact that I am becoming healthier is no reason to be called a thief. The peanuts I get from the Development Committee are barely enough to meet expenses of my administrative duties.

CHICKEN: Endorse me chairlady in your place!

HARE (The irritated hare walks back to the podium. Anger almost chokes his voice): Before the meeting took a twist, were setting logistics for the establishment of a Kikulacho Granary. Prior to my interruption, I was about to mention that all members of Kikulacho County are to pay 25% of their produce to the national granary for a period of 5 seasons to contain the famine occasioned by the two dry spell. (Murmurs ensue but the hare opts to proceed).  Of the 25% proceeds paid to the granary, five percent will go to the Development Committee’s kitty…

TORTOISE: Who authorized that committee to make resource deduction decisions on our behalf? That’s a breach of the Kikulacho Animal rights! We are the most supreme authority on taxation matters! And by the way how important are the tummies of the Development Committee members?

CHICKEN:  Some of the committee members are too old. They should go home to look after their wives!

HARE (Irritated by the satirical outburst of the chicken): We never converged for an election. We were here to endorse the new austerity measures. The election can wait.

LION:  You have bickered enough, can you now listen (Murmurs continue, before Lion angrily clenches his canines).  Shut up. You’ve had enough time wag your tongue. Listen here!

CHICKEN (In a whisper): We use the ears to listen not the mouth.

LION: The mud you have smeared on my Development Committee is founded on incoherent and false allegations. Move forward if you have any evidence validating your allegations or learn to shut your rowdy bickers and listen! (Silence ensues, as the fox strolls into the Baraza venue. Nobody seems to notice his entry.) We never rendezvoused here for a political witch hunt concert.

CHICKEN: Where are the witches?

(Prolonged laughter follows, before it is sternly stopped by the lion’s loud roar. By this time, the fox has moved up close to the podium awaiting a turn to speak)

LION: First things first. This granary policy has to be endorsed, no compromise about that!

FOX (Other animals are surprised by his unprecedented entry): Kikulacho constitution has deeply ingrained principles of resource accountability that resource misappropriation whatsoever. (The rest of the animals nod in agreement). On the provisions of leadership, the committee members are bequeathed the power to lead and no to rule!

CHICKEN: We’ve now started talking!

LION (angrily): This is not a convergence of constitutional experts. It is a crisis Baraza to save Kikulacho County.

TORTOISE: Yes the salvation of the chosen few, by devouring every bit of our bitter sweat!

FOX:  The constitution calls for elections if 65% of Kikulacho’s citizens pass a vote of no confidence following gross corruption by the incumbent government. I believe we have a quorum to demand for polls!

(The auditorium claps, as Chameleon confusedly rises to speak.)

CHAMELEON: Let’s not heckle each other…, Law abiding citizens; dialogue is the mother of concurrence. Let’s agree to talk and disagree to disagree.

CHICKEN:  Stop confusing us.

FOX: Polls, polls, polls, polls…

AUDITORIUM: Polls, polls, polls…

HARE: You won’t like it. That’s tantamount to incitement.

FOX: Mass action is democratic. We will protest anything short of a new committee and resource accountability!

LION: So be it, early tomorrow we will be back here. You will appoint a new Development Committee.

FOX: Let it happen right now!

(The lights fade out as the entire auditorium surges towards the podium)

(The playwright is a third year media student at Maseno University and a sub-editor of Equator weekly.)

Do not polarize nation against Kikuyus by By Mwangi Wilson Murimi

Wilson Murimi

The raging debate over the amicability of a third kikuyu president and the legitimacy of a kikuyu inspector-general of police is eminent but being indecently conducted.

This crucial debate has surpassed purviews of decency, not only in the mainstream media but also in the social media, to the extent that GEMA candidates for top posts are being viewed with cynical criticism.

The debate is gratuitously charging the country towards a Kikuyu-phobic attitude, which is unhealthy considering that the country is healing from the 2008 post-poll chaos.

Whereas it is true that domination of a country’s government bureaucracy and armed forces by a single community in a heterogeneous society is dangerous, it is more perilous to create a tribal rift in a nation healing from post-poll chaos.

The danger of tendering an anti-kikuyu attitude is that a repeat of 2008 chaos in 2012 will lame the country’s ailing economy owing to the fact that very many businesses in the country side are owned by Kikuyus.

I am shocked that even Omar Hassan, one of the expected panelists in the selection of the next police boss, could so imprudently display his anti-Kikuyu viewpoint yet he will be expected to be impartial during the candidates grilling exercise.

In his viewpoint that a Kikuyu should not lead the police force, Hassan created an impression that a Kikuyu’s candidature is illegitimate. It creates an impression that the grilling exercise should be veered towards eliminating Kikuyus from the police boss race! What law segregates a community from producing a police boss?

Into the bargain, this Kikuyu-phobic attitude seems to be brewing a ‘Kenyan Spring’ against the election of a Kikuyu president even if he/she captures the seat in a democratic and a constitutionally justifiable election.

Democracy might blossom in a society where the citizens are free to engage in debate on key issues, but this discourse must be done in an admissible manner without infringing into the rights of any section of the society, or messing up national unity. The way out is empowerment of the recently created electoral body so that the 2012 elections are democratic.

The writer is a communications and media student at Maseno University and a sub-editor of Equator Weekly.

Kirinyaga: Jombi ataka kujitoa uhai baada ya kunyimwa chakula na Mwangi Wilson Murimi

Picha kutoka kwa tovuti

Kalameni mmoja katika eneo la Kirinyaga ya kati aliwashangaza wengi, pale alipotishia kujitoa uhai baada ya mzozo na bibi yake kuhusu chakula kugeukia mweleka wa kifamilia.

Mzozo huo ulianza pale jombi huyo aliporejea nyumbani nyakati za  asubuhi akiwa mlevi chakari, na kudai apewe chakula na mkewe. Hata hivyo bibi yake aliyekuwa amechoshwa na ulevi wa bwanake wa kila siku alimwambia peupe akatafute chakula kwa mama pima. “Nenda ukatafuate chakula huko unakolewa kila siku”, alisema bibi yake.

 Tamshi hilo lilimkera jombi hiyo, aliyemkaba koo mkewe alitumai kuwa hili lingempelekea kuubadili msismamo wako wa awali, lakini kinyume na matarajio yake, mkewe akinyakua ukuni na kumgonga.

Na huku jombi huyo akiachilia shingo yake, mkewe naye alimvamia kwa chochote kilichokuwa pale jikoni, zikiwemo sufuria na vikombe, jambo lililowavutia wanakijiji wengi kujitamazia mweleka wa bure.

Hakuna aliyefanya juhudi zozote kuwatengamisha wawili hao, labda kwa hofu kuwa kufanya hivyo kungeukatisha mweleka huo wa bure ambao ulikuwa ukijiri.

Katikati mwa vurumai hilo, mkewe alisikika akinung’una kuwa mmewe alizoea kutoka ulevini na kulala bila kutekeleza wajibu wake kama bwana. “Mwaname wa saa ngapi huyu, anayejilaza kama mfu?” alisema mwanamke huyo.

Mambo yalizidi unga pale, mwalimu mmjoa wa shule ya msingi kuoka eneo hilo anayedaiwa kuhusika mapenzi kisiri  na mwanamke huyo alipofika pale na kujaribu kuwatenganisha.

Mawazoni pa jombi huyo, wawili hao wakinuia kummaliza ili kupata nafasi kuendeleza uhusiano wao, ndipo akadai kuwa angejitoa uhai. “Kumbe mwatataka kuniua ndio niwaondokee na kumpa nafasi sivyo?” alisema Jombi huyo, “Afadhali nijitoe uhai mwenyewe”

Kicheko cha waliokusanyaika kilikatizwa na mshangao pale bibi yake alipodai kuwa angemhakikishia kuwa amelala pema peponi akijitia kitanzi, jambo ambalo lilimfadhaisha jombi huyo, aliyetoka na kwenda zake akidai kuwa angerejea akiwa mfu.

Mwandishi ni Mwanafunzi katika taaluma ya utangazaji na uanahabari chuoni Maseno na mhariri wa jarida la Equator Weekly